First Post, first day of the rest of my life

After following others blogs, I have decided to follow suite and start my own. Although note sure what it is that I would have to say, or if any one would even follow. But let's see how it goes.

Do you ever feel that you are just waiting for your life to begin? Sometimes I do. Like the one that I am living isn't mine, I'm just going through the motions. Or living someone elses life.

I guess when I was growing up I wasn't certain on the things that I wanted in life. But as I sit here I just feel like this for sure isn't it.

So, what am I going to do to change that?

While I hate that I have to work, I am glad that I have a good job that pays well with good benefits. With that I am able to help pay for a semi-decent lifestyle. We had to file Bankruptcy on 2009 because of bad finical choices over a period of years. But even after that we still had debts that we paid back. ( Our parents). Those are paid but we got a car loan. I am determined to pay off that loan this year. So my job will definitely help.
Randel is nearly done with his three year SEEP program! Woo hoo! Hopefully once he is done with that he can start making better money. Without a degree it's a much slower process.

For those who have have spent more than five minutes with me know that I want a baby...bad.
After years of trying on our own. We went to a few doctors, and had tests done on both of us. There are issues on both sides. I am currently undergoing a birth control treatment to try to get things better. It's hard.. I want a baby and I am on birth control. But it's a six month treatment and I am on the fourth week of the fourth month. Almost there! I just pray that it is working like it's meant to.

Randel and I have a deal that if I were to get pregnant now then I work until he is done with the program. Or if I have the baby after the program I get to stay home. But even then it will be hard to go to one income. I guess we shall see.

To try to better my life and follow the council of the prophets, I have gone back to school part time. The semester starts on Tuesday and I am nervous. This isn't my first semester back but it is the most classes I am taking. It's going to be difficult. I will have to make changes on how I spend my time.

I am enjoying my church calling as 16-17 yr Sunday School teacher, they are a good bunch of kids. I am looking forward to knowing them better.

Spiritly I struggle.. some times I feel great and close to the Lord. Then there are times when I just feel so far away and alone. And I know that it is because I have moved away. There are self worth issues that I deal with, and that has a huge impact with my relationship with Jesus Christ. Right now I feel very far away. Which tells me that I need to make changes to do better.

So I guess the things that I am going to do to being my life are, finish getting out of debt, get to were we can live on one come. Continue seeing doctors to conceive a baby. Continue my education and work to feel closer to the Lord That's a good start...

This seems to be all over the place, but hopefully future blogs with have more flow.
Thanks for reading.