Do you ever find yourself sitting in your car or walking outside; and you look up and see a bird flying in the sky? You think to yourself "man to be a bird, to be able to fly anywhere, and just come and go as you please. To have the cares of a bird, I think they would be, what and where am I going to eat next? and try not to get eaten by another bird or animal.
There is definitely something to be said about stability. Having a good job, a home that you own, a car, church callings, friends, and family.
But on the other hand, sometimes I just feel trapped. I have the urge to just pick up and leave. But I have things that I must do, so I stay.
Hence, looking up at the birds, wishing I could fly away.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Man, it's only the second day of school and it is already kicking my behind! It is nice though that I am working towards something and not just sitting back watching TV. And since it is only the second day I am just learning what is going to be required of me. I'm sure once I get going and established it will calm down.
I can't tell if Randel is getting better or not. I think he is but he is still bed ridden and leans to the left severely. but he has walked out to the living room a few times without the walker. He says the stiffness in his back from the injection is gone, which is good. Only time will tell. haha that's funny I just asked him how to spell something and here he comes down the hall with his walker! Guess I typed too soon.
We seem to be spending more time with our neighbor and friends that last few days which is great! But when he (the neighbor) comes over to talk to Randel and Randel is in the bed in our not terribly messy but slightly messy room. I just want to scream! I get home check the mail, have time to go to the bathroom and before I can wash my hands there goes the doorbell. Agg not that I mind at all but, my room is not the cleanest room in the house. So I am sitting there looking at our unmade bed, socks and unmentionables on the floor, Randel's stack of cups and empty popcorn bag, I just want to hide. This is all from today just haven't had two seconds to get to it yet.
I guess that's just part of life though. Plus I have a tendency to freak when people just show up. The nice thing about my house is the open floor plan. The bad thing about my house is the open floor plan. I open the door and you can see all my business, kitchen, dinning room, living room. I guess most visitors don't mind. But I mind. maybe I should learn to keep things tidy.... all the time. Jeesh
I can't tell if Randel is getting better or not. I think he is but he is still bed ridden and leans to the left severely. but he has walked out to the living room a few times without the walker. He says the stiffness in his back from the injection is gone, which is good. Only time will tell. haha that's funny I just asked him how to spell something and here he comes down the hall with his walker! Guess I typed too soon.
We seem to be spending more time with our neighbor and friends that last few days which is great! But when he (the neighbor) comes over to talk to Randel and Randel is in the bed in our not terribly messy but slightly messy room. I just want to scream! I get home check the mail, have time to go to the bathroom and before I can wash my hands there goes the doorbell. Agg not that I mind at all but, my room is not the cleanest room in the house. So I am sitting there looking at our unmade bed, socks and unmentionables on the floor, Randel's stack of cups and empty popcorn bag, I just want to hide. This is all from today just haven't had two seconds to get to it yet.
I guess that's just part of life though. Plus I have a tendency to freak when people just show up. The nice thing about my house is the open floor plan. The bad thing about my house is the open floor plan. I open the door and you can see all my business, kitchen, dinning room, living room. I guess most visitors don't mind. But I mind. maybe I should learn to keep things tidy.... all the time. Jeesh
Monday, January 17, 2011
Great Day off
Today was quite a great day. I love it when I have the day off and I am PRODUCTIVE.
So many times I just waste it by doing nothing, and it's great when it's needed. But not today.
I got to sleep in for a while til' about 8. Then I got up and started cleaning out the top drawer of my dresser. I had so many socks and jewelry boxes in there, it was a pain to find anything. Now it looks much better. Then I cleaned out the top drawer of my night stand, then the top of the night stand.
I organized my food storage a little bit. I bought several bags of pasta at Staters on Saturday, couldn't pass up the 49 cents a bag! I also bought some Thrive Food Storage online today, some things that I know I like such as, the strawberries and pineapple and powered egg, and some things to try like, peaches,apricots and Broccoli Cheese Soup. I got the Mylar bags on the ones I wasn't sure about. Just in case we don't like it. Cleaned and moved almost everything out of the living room and put in the the spare room in preparation for the flooring.
Gave my mom a ride, talked to her a bit, she told me my sister in law is pregnant again. (They had a baby in July) That's good for them I guess. I'm getting better on not letting these things affect me so much. I have no control. It just seems that every time I start my period and have a month of failure(even though I'm on the pill) I find out that some one I know had success and is having a baby. One day my time will come. I'll just sit here and wait. So I made Chex Mix.
Logged on to my classes, read was is going to be expected of me over the next several weeks. This should be fun.
Today the 10 day waiting period to pick up my Christmas present (a hand gun) was up. It's a pretty cute gun. It's pink so that's all that really matters. So my walker using husband and I went and picked it up, then went and shot a few rounds at the range. The gun has a bit of a kick that I don't really like. It hurts my hands, Randel says it's because I have delicate hands. I say I'm a girl.. what do you want? Rough hands..
Went to the car wash and washed and vacuumed my car, came home just in time for my Notary appointments.
Now I sit here blogging about my day. Wondering what we are doing for dinner. Don't know what to make, Randel has suggested Taco Bell. We will probably go there.
I will have to be careful of what I blog about because I am sure people don't want to read the every day to day stuff. But today was a good day, thought I would share! :)
So many times I just waste it by doing nothing, and it's great when it's needed. But not today.
I got to sleep in for a while til' about 8. Then I got up and started cleaning out the top drawer of my dresser. I had so many socks and jewelry boxes in there, it was a pain to find anything. Now it looks much better. Then I cleaned out the top drawer of my night stand, then the top of the night stand.
I organized my food storage a little bit. I bought several bags of pasta at Staters on Saturday, couldn't pass up the 49 cents a bag! I also bought some Thrive Food Storage online today, some things that I know I like such as, the strawberries and pineapple and powered egg, and some things to try like, peaches,apricots and Broccoli Cheese Soup. I got the Mylar bags on the ones I wasn't sure about. Just in case we don't like it. Cleaned and moved almost everything out of the living room and put in the the spare room in preparation for the flooring.
Gave my mom a ride, talked to her a bit, she told me my sister in law is pregnant again. (They had a baby in July) That's good for them I guess. I'm getting better on not letting these things affect me so much. I have no control. It just seems that every time I start my period and have a month of failure(even though I'm on the pill) I find out that some one I know had success and is having a baby. One day my time will come. I'll just sit here and wait. So I made Chex Mix.
Logged on to my classes, read was is going to be expected of me over the next several weeks. This should be fun.
Today the 10 day waiting period to pick up my Christmas present (a hand gun) was up. It's a pretty cute gun. It's pink so that's all that really matters. So my walker using husband and I went and picked it up, then went and shot a few rounds at the range. The gun has a bit of a kick that I don't really like. It hurts my hands, Randel says it's because I have delicate hands. I say I'm a girl.. what do you want? Rough hands..
Went to the car wash and washed and vacuumed my car, came home just in time for my Notary appointments.
Now I sit here blogging about my day. Wondering what we are doing for dinner. Don't know what to make, Randel has suggested Taco Bell. We will probably go there.
I will have to be careful of what I blog about because I am sure people don't want to read the every day to day stuff. But today was a good day, thought I would share! :)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
First Post, first day of the rest of my life
After following others blogs, I have decided to follow suite and start my own. Although note sure what it is that I would have to say, or if any one would even follow. But let's see how it goes.
Do you ever feel that you are just waiting for your life to begin? Sometimes I do. Like the one that I am living isn't mine, I'm just going through the motions. Or living someone elses life.
I guess when I was growing up I wasn't certain on the things that I wanted in life. But as I sit here I just feel like this for sure isn't it.
So, what am I going to do to change that?
While I hate that I have to work, I am glad that I have a good job that pays well with good benefits. With that I am able to help pay for a semi-decent lifestyle. We had to file Bankruptcy on 2009 because of bad finical choices over a period of years. But even after that we still had debts that we paid back. ( Our parents). Those are paid but we got a car loan. I am determined to pay off that loan this year. So my job will definitely help.
Randel is nearly done with his three year SEEP program! Woo hoo! Hopefully once he is done with that he can start making better money. Without a degree it's a much slower process.
For those who have have spent more than five minutes with me know that I want a baby...bad.
After years of trying on our own. We went to a few doctors, and had tests done on both of us. There are issues on both sides. I am currently undergoing a birth control treatment to try to get things better. It's hard.. I want a baby and I am on birth control. But it's a six month treatment and I am on the fourth week of the fourth month. Almost there! I just pray that it is working like it's meant to.
Randel and I have a deal that if I were to get pregnant now then I work until he is done with the program. Or if I have the baby after the program I get to stay home. But even then it will be hard to go to one income. I guess we shall see.
To try to better my life and follow the council of the prophets, I have gone back to school part time. The semester starts on Tuesday and I am nervous. This isn't my first semester back but it is the most classes I am taking. It's going to be difficult. I will have to make changes on how I spend my time.
I am enjoying my church calling as 16-17 yr Sunday School teacher, they are a good bunch of kids. I am looking forward to knowing them better.
Spiritly I struggle.. some times I feel great and close to the Lord. Then there are times when I just feel so far away and alone. And I know that it is because I have moved away. There are self worth issues that I deal with, and that has a huge impact with my relationship with Jesus Christ. Right now I feel very far away. Which tells me that I need to make changes to do better.
So I guess the things that I am going to do to being my life are, finish getting out of debt, get to were we can live on one come. Continue seeing doctors to conceive a baby. Continue my education and work to feel closer to the Lord That's a good start...
This seems to be all over the place, but hopefully future blogs with have more flow.
Thanks for reading.
Do you ever feel that you are just waiting for your life to begin? Sometimes I do. Like the one that I am living isn't mine, I'm just going through the motions. Or living someone elses life.
I guess when I was growing up I wasn't certain on the things that I wanted in life. But as I sit here I just feel like this for sure isn't it.
So, what am I going to do to change that?
While I hate that I have to work, I am glad that I have a good job that pays well with good benefits. With that I am able to help pay for a semi-decent lifestyle. We had to file Bankruptcy on 2009 because of bad finical choices over a period of years. But even after that we still had debts that we paid back. ( Our parents). Those are paid but we got a car loan. I am determined to pay off that loan this year. So my job will definitely help.
Randel is nearly done with his three year SEEP program! Woo hoo! Hopefully once he is done with that he can start making better money. Without a degree it's a much slower process.
For those who have have spent more than five minutes with me know that I want a baby...bad.
After years of trying on our own. We went to a few doctors, and had tests done on both of us. There are issues on both sides. I am currently undergoing a birth control treatment to try to get things better. It's hard.. I want a baby and I am on birth control. But it's a six month treatment and I am on the fourth week of the fourth month. Almost there! I just pray that it is working like it's meant to.
Randel and I have a deal that if I were to get pregnant now then I work until he is done with the program. Or if I have the baby after the program I get to stay home. But even then it will be hard to go to one income. I guess we shall see.
To try to better my life and follow the council of the prophets, I have gone back to school part time. The semester starts on Tuesday and I am nervous. This isn't my first semester back but it is the most classes I am taking. It's going to be difficult. I will have to make changes on how I spend my time.
I am enjoying my church calling as 16-17 yr Sunday School teacher, they are a good bunch of kids. I am looking forward to knowing them better.
Spiritly I struggle.. some times I feel great and close to the Lord. Then there are times when I just feel so far away and alone. And I know that it is because I have moved away. There are self worth issues that I deal with, and that has a huge impact with my relationship with Jesus Christ. Right now I feel very far away. Which tells me that I need to make changes to do better.
So I guess the things that I am going to do to being my life are, finish getting out of debt, get to were we can live on one come. Continue seeing doctors to conceive a baby. Continue my education and work to feel closer to the Lord That's a good start...
This seems to be all over the place, but hopefully future blogs with have more flow.
Thanks for reading.
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