I love being pregnant! I haven't posted much about my pregnancy, because I was trying to be sensitive to others, and not really sure what to say. But today I am in a mood to talk about it. Yesterday I made 6 months or 24 weeks. Point of viability, not that I have any concerns to worry about it, but it does now give me a sense of relief. I'm sure all babies and mommies are, my baby is AMAZING! I can feel her move on the inside, and it feels funny, but when I try to feel with my hand she stops. Little stinker! I have a heart Doppler thing that allows me to listen to her heart beat, and I love that. Off all the things that I have bought the Doppler is my favorite! (and I got it at Goodwill for 6.95) I love, love, love hearing her little strong heart beat and hearing her move around. The last couple of nights when I use the Doppler she kicks it! So I can feel the Doppler move, and I put my fingers right next to the Doppler and I feel it too. But she only lets me feel her when I use the Doppler. I wonder if she doesn't like it for some reason.
So far at 24 weeks my pregnancy has been pretty easy. In the beginning I did get sick a lot, now I get sick occasionally. Fortunately it's in the morning while I am at home. I am tired pretty much all of the time. My lunch time naps are very help full, they get me to bed time. Because of my weight I won't get the traditional baby bump, which is my fault, and it's OK I know that I am pregnant. In the beginning I lost 10 pounds, and have kept most of it off, in the last month I have probably gained 3 or 4 pounds. The doctor says that I am doing great. I am trying really hard not to complain about physical aches and problems. Not that I have anything really to complain about. I told Heavenly Father that when I got pregnant I would not complain. So I am trying to keep my promise.
At 19 weeks we had a 3D Ultra sound in San Diego, it was amazing. It was at that appointment that we found out that we are having a baby girl. We are so happy that she is girl. Since that is what we were both hoping for, even though we would have been happy with a boy. But HOORAY for GIRLS. Her name is Hannah Michelle, we love her name! Hannah is pretty much the only girl name that we could agree on. Michelle is for my mom. It was Randel's condition for giving up the name that he liked SUSAN, ugg. I will take Michelle any day of the week, thank you.
Her room is coming along. It is partially put together, but we are having company for Christmas that will be staying in her room. So after the first of the year then I can work a little harder on it. Until I became pregnant with her I always thought that we would have a boy, and for years I have been collecting baby stuff. The theme that I like is Jungle/ Safari and the colors are dark brown and light green. Now that we know we are having a girl, nothing is really changing. I have too much to change. I can make it girlie. And since I have been collecting there isn't a whole lot that I need. But boy is there a lot of baby stuff out in the world. With that being said I have created a baby registry on www.amazon.com. Just things that I think are cute and would be nice to have. It's kinda funny, I can't seem to stop buying things for her. And people are getting really mad at me. But I have been this way my whole life. And cute is cute!
I really hope that she comes on her due date April 6, mostly because of the religious significance. I also just like the date. I do have a few that I do not want for various reasons such as the 1, 3, 5. But she will come when she comes.
I guesss that's all for now, hope fully it makes sense since I am posting this at work! haha Thanks for reading!
Love,
Ashley
Friday, December 16, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Update from Dr. appointment
So it's been a month since our doctor appointment. We both had several tests done, and they are all coming back POSITIVE! Which is very good, because that means there's nothing that needs to be fixed. But on the other hand, what is the hold up? I know, what it is, I guess I just refuse to believe that, that could be the only reason. So with all the information that we have, we decided to give it one more try on our own. I bought these digital Ovulation Predictor Kits to help us know when the best time is. I hope they help. We are giving it three months, so if I am not pregnant by the end of September, then we will go back to the doctor.
I kind of feel like if we haven't gotten pregnant in the last five years (except for once), then what difference is three months going to make. Then on the other hand, now that we know that all things are normal then if we can make a baby on our own and without the extra expense then I think that is worth a try.
When all this hullabaloo came up at work, I was stressed about not having a job. At that point we analyzed how self reliant are we for a time like this? The answer not as well as we should be. That realization scared me. We were thinking of all the things that we would have to walk a way from, one would be our house. We have been working on a ways of being more self reliant. Like the only debt that we have is our car, that I am trying to pay off extra fast. (The plan is December, it will have taken me 2 1/2 yrs to pay off $7,900. ish.) We also seem to have a constant flow of medical bills coming in. I am trying to get our monthly costs down, but we still do have quite a few luxuries, and Randel really isn't on the same plan. So could we live on just Randel's income? NO! Even if we only had our mortgage and basics, there would be no way. I am so looking forward to him graduating his program later this year and making more money. But we do have some food storage, and toiletries. The biggest scare is pretty much no savings. So what have I learned from this? You never know what is coming around the corner, so you better be prepared. I am extremely grateful that I still have a job and a good job at that. But I am also grateful for this eye opening experience of the what-if. I would now like to work on us being more self reliant!
I kind of feel like if we haven't gotten pregnant in the last five years (except for once), then what difference is three months going to make. Then on the other hand, now that we know that all things are normal then if we can make a baby on our own and without the extra expense then I think that is worth a try.
When all this hullabaloo came up at work, I was stressed about not having a job. At that point we analyzed how self reliant are we for a time like this? The answer not as well as we should be. That realization scared me. We were thinking of all the things that we would have to walk a way from, one would be our house. We have been working on a ways of being more self reliant. Like the only debt that we have is our car, that I am trying to pay off extra fast. (The plan is December, it will have taken me 2 1/2 yrs to pay off $7,900. ish.) We also seem to have a constant flow of medical bills coming in. I am trying to get our monthly costs down, but we still do have quite a few luxuries, and Randel really isn't on the same plan. So could we live on just Randel's income? NO! Even if we only had our mortgage and basics, there would be no way. I am so looking forward to him graduating his program later this year and making more money. But we do have some food storage, and toiletries. The biggest scare is pretty much no savings. So what have I learned from this? You never know what is coming around the corner, so you better be prepared. I am extremely grateful that I still have a job and a good job at that. But I am also grateful for this eye opening experience of the what-if. I would now like to work on us being more self reliant!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Friday we went down to Beverly Hills for our testing. It was an intresting morning. We had a hard time getting there, because we left so early and go there about an hour early we decided to take a nap in the temple parking lot. But I had directions from home to Dr and Dr to temple. Not temple to Dr. It is only 1.93 miles and 4 minutes from the temple to the Dr which is awesome, but apprently back tracking directions and having 2 cell phones with GPS doesn't work. So instead of taking 4 minutes it took us 25 minutes to get to the Dr.'s office. I was driving and I couldn't have even told you where we were or how we got so lost. But we got there. (PS I HATE DRIVING DOWN THERE!)
The appointment went well, we were only there for about an hour. In that hour I got vitals, ultrasound, HSG test, and blood test done. Whoops I forgot to fast. But Randel also got his test done and blood test.
The appointment went well, we were only there for about an hour. In that hour I got vitals, ultrasound, HSG test, and blood test done. Whoops I forgot to fast. But Randel also got his test done and blood test.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Dr appointment
Today was our Doctor appointment at the fertility place. First, we made it on time, which I was very glad for. We tend to run late for a lot of things, which bothers me, because it's rude. And the office has a strict if your 20 minutes late you get rescheduled policy, so I was nervous, but we made it! Off to a great start.
We talked with the Dr. in his office, went over our history. First things first, he starts with has any one talked to you about your weight? Yes, I know, I am working on it. Part of me says it's hard to get it down and keep it down and part of me says that if I really wanted a baby then I would do whatever it took. And I know lots if ladies that have "more to love" and don't seem to have troubles. I don't know. I have loss some but at this rate a little doesn't matter.
It was kind of funny but I said I was on Birth Control and he said "how do you expect to get pregnant if you are on birth control?" Well I was put on it to shrink cysts that I have. I said I am BC until you tell me not to be. So effective immediately I am not taking it anymore. I am also not taking the medicine that I have been taking for my acne. I'm a little nervous about that, because I do NOT want a repeat of what happened a few months ago.
We are going down to Beverly Hills on Friday to do blood tests and HSG ( I think) to check my Fallopian tubes and uterus. Randel is also going to have his "swimmers" checked. There was a lot of information gone over, but I walked out and was like "say what". Randel says that he feels better after leaving the office, I however am not sure. He follows and retains information better than I do. I am hoping that we can go with artificial insemination and not IVF. He recommends all these doctors to check different things, and doing all the tests in his B.H.office. I foresee a lot of driving. Good thing diesel is so cheap! HA
Not to say that Heavenly Father doesn't talk to me, I just don't know how to listen I guess. We need to pray and make sure that this is the route that we are supposed to go. I'm nervous of the cost. And what if it doesn't work? What if it does work? How will I be able to stay home and afford this new cost? I don't want to have waited all this time to have a baby, to just put it in daycare. We are finally in a position were we are stable enough to start this process. But there are still bumps in the road. And I still have concerns, is this what we are supposed to do, if we want a baby?
After our appointment we went to Sam's Club to return a few boxes of laminate. We decided not to put it in our bedroom, so we had eight boxes to return. I didn't have my receipt so I got store credit. Fine by me! We spent the credit tonight buying, a case of oil for the car, a case of toilet paper ( we now have 7 and 3/4 cases). A flat of chicken, purple grapes, pineapple, mushrooms, canned chicken, strawberries, 2 movies (John Adams, Phantom of the Opera (on Blu Ray)). A Daisy and Minnie puppet book set for my niece Ava. Yea I think that's it!
Followed by returning a dress to Kohl's and dinner at Chipotle then driving home. A good afternoon!
Randel is trying to get me to enjoy Lord of the Rings. Sorry babe but that is not going to happen. But since I have never seen them we have been watching them over the last three nights. I now understand the story and the movies are done pretty well. But I am no Lord of the Rings fan. Just not my cup of tea.
After reading this I see that it is a little scattered, sorry about that, hopefully you get the gist!
We talked with the Dr. in his office, went over our history. First things first, he starts with has any one talked to you about your weight? Yes, I know, I am working on it. Part of me says it's hard to get it down and keep it down and part of me says that if I really wanted a baby then I would do whatever it took. And I know lots if ladies that have "more to love" and don't seem to have troubles. I don't know. I have loss some but at this rate a little doesn't matter.
It was kind of funny but I said I was on Birth Control and he said "how do you expect to get pregnant if you are on birth control?" Well I was put on it to shrink cysts that I have. I said I am BC until you tell me not to be. So effective immediately I am not taking it anymore. I am also not taking the medicine that I have been taking for my acne. I'm a little nervous about that, because I do NOT want a repeat of what happened a few months ago.
We are going down to Beverly Hills on Friday to do blood tests and HSG ( I think) to check my Fallopian tubes and uterus. Randel is also going to have his "swimmers" checked. There was a lot of information gone over, but I walked out and was like "say what". Randel says that he feels better after leaving the office, I however am not sure. He follows and retains information better than I do. I am hoping that we can go with artificial insemination and not IVF. He recommends all these doctors to check different things, and doing all the tests in his B.H.office. I foresee a lot of driving. Good thing diesel is so cheap! HA
Not to say that Heavenly Father doesn't talk to me, I just don't know how to listen I guess. We need to pray and make sure that this is the route that we are supposed to go. I'm nervous of the cost. And what if it doesn't work? What if it does work? How will I be able to stay home and afford this new cost? I don't want to have waited all this time to have a baby, to just put it in daycare. We are finally in a position were we are stable enough to start this process. But there are still bumps in the road. And I still have concerns, is this what we are supposed to do, if we want a baby?
After our appointment we went to Sam's Club to return a few boxes of laminate. We decided not to put it in our bedroom, so we had eight boxes to return. I didn't have my receipt so I got store credit. Fine by me! We spent the credit tonight buying, a case of oil for the car, a case of toilet paper ( we now have 7 and 3/4 cases). A flat of chicken, purple grapes, pineapple, mushrooms, canned chicken, strawberries, 2 movies (John Adams, Phantom of the Opera (on Blu Ray)). A Daisy and Minnie puppet book set for my niece Ava. Yea I think that's it!
Followed by returning a dress to Kohl's and dinner at Chipotle then driving home. A good afternoon!
Randel is trying to get me to enjoy Lord of the Rings. Sorry babe but that is not going to happen. But since I have never seen them we have been watching them over the last three nights. I now understand the story and the movies are done pretty well. But I am no Lord of the Rings fan. Just not my cup of tea.
After reading this I see that it is a little scattered, sorry about that, hopefully you get the gist!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
New Post
Well it certainly has been a while since I blogged. But lets give it another shot.
After being in the house for almost five years and having the flooring in the house for five months, we are finally getting it laid; piece by piece. This weekend we laid it in the hallway. I love it and Randel, well, not so much. I guess I'm willing to except the things that are associated with it, such as it's a floating floor, adds an echo, and you can hear all foot steps. I love how it looks. And I think it is sooo much better than carpet. Carpet gets so dirty, and nasty. We shall see. That leaves the living room and the master bedroom. Hopefully we will get it in soon, like in the next week soon. I am hoping to take advantage of the holiday. The only drawback is Memorial Day is also Randel's birthday. oops, sorry babe.
Randel is healing nicely from his surgery, I think that he does too much and I'm sure that I don't help. I feel bad for his scar. It doesn't hurt anymore, but it's there. He still has pain in his leg, but I think that's normal, being the nerve was pinch for so long.
We have finally come to the conclusion that if we want a baby we need help. On June 7 we have an appointment at The Southern California Reproductive Center, with Dr. Shahin Ghadir. Randel's co-worker and his wife are currently seeing him and they like him. So we thought that we could give him a try. I am trying to be reserved, and keep my hopes in check. I am curious to what he will say, and have us do. I'm also nervous of the cost. While we are doing better than we ever have, but fertility treatments can be expensive. I just hope that we can get some answers, I'm tired of the waiting game.
I'm so happy that this semester is over, and I get a break until June 13. This last semester was very difficult for me. I ended up with 3 A's, 1 B, and 1 C. Not terrible but not great. Since I am taking classes so slowly it is going to take me a while to get my degree. But one class at a time I am getting closer.
Feeling Great in 8, is going pretty good. I am trying to do my best and make changes. Not currently losing weight, but I am eating better and trying to exercise more. I am doing pretty good with no eating after 8, except weekends seem to present a problem hmmm.
Well I will try to give an update after our Dr. appointment.
After being in the house for almost five years and having the flooring in the house for five months, we are finally getting it laid; piece by piece. This weekend we laid it in the hallway. I love it and Randel, well, not so much. I guess I'm willing to except the things that are associated with it, such as it's a floating floor, adds an echo, and you can hear all foot steps. I love how it looks. And I think it is sooo much better than carpet. Carpet gets so dirty, and nasty. We shall see. That leaves the living room and the master bedroom. Hopefully we will get it in soon, like in the next week soon. I am hoping to take advantage of the holiday. The only drawback is Memorial Day is also Randel's birthday. oops, sorry babe.
Randel is healing nicely from his surgery, I think that he does too much and I'm sure that I don't help. I feel bad for his scar. It doesn't hurt anymore, but it's there. He still has pain in his leg, but I think that's normal, being the nerve was pinch for so long.
We have finally come to the conclusion that if we want a baby we need help. On June 7 we have an appointment at The Southern California Reproductive Center, with Dr. Shahin Ghadir. Randel's co-worker and his wife are currently seeing him and they like him. So we thought that we could give him a try. I am trying to be reserved, and keep my hopes in check. I am curious to what he will say, and have us do. I'm also nervous of the cost. While we are doing better than we ever have, but fertility treatments can be expensive. I just hope that we can get some answers, I'm tired of the waiting game.
I'm so happy that this semester is over, and I get a break until June 13. This last semester was very difficult for me. I ended up with 3 A's, 1 B, and 1 C. Not terrible but not great. Since I am taking classes so slowly it is going to take me a while to get my degree. But one class at a time I am getting closer.
Feeling Great in 8, is going pretty good. I am trying to do my best and make changes. Not currently losing weight, but I am eating better and trying to exercise more. I am doing pretty good with no eating after 8, except weekends seem to present a problem hmmm.
Well I will try to give an update after our Dr. appointment.
Monday, January 31, 2011
To be a bird
Do you ever find yourself sitting in your car or walking outside; and you look up and see a bird flying in the sky? You think to yourself "man to be a bird, to be able to fly anywhere, and just come and go as you please. To have the cares of a bird, I think they would be, what and where am I going to eat next? and try not to get eaten by another bird or animal.
There is definitely something to be said about stability. Having a good job, a home that you own, a car, church callings, friends, and family.
But on the other hand, sometimes I just feel trapped. I have the urge to just pick up and leave. But I have things that I must do, so I stay.
Hence, looking up at the birds, wishing I could fly away.
There is definitely something to be said about stability. Having a good job, a home that you own, a car, church callings, friends, and family.
But on the other hand, sometimes I just feel trapped. I have the urge to just pick up and leave. But I have things that I must do, so I stay.
Hence, looking up at the birds, wishing I could fly away.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Man, it's only the second day of school and it is already kicking my behind! It is nice though that I am working towards something and not just sitting back watching TV. And since it is only the second day I am just learning what is going to be required of me. I'm sure once I get going and established it will calm down.
I can't tell if Randel is getting better or not. I think he is but he is still bed ridden and leans to the left severely. but he has walked out to the living room a few times without the walker. He says the stiffness in his back from the injection is gone, which is good. Only time will tell. haha that's funny I just asked him how to spell something and here he comes down the hall with his walker! Guess I typed too soon.
We seem to be spending more time with our neighbor and friends that last few days which is great! But when he (the neighbor) comes over to talk to Randel and Randel is in the bed in our not terribly messy but slightly messy room. I just want to scream! I get home check the mail, have time to go to the bathroom and before I can wash my hands there goes the doorbell. Agg not that I mind at all but, my room is not the cleanest room in the house. So I am sitting there looking at our unmade bed, socks and unmentionables on the floor, Randel's stack of cups and empty popcorn bag, I just want to hide. This is all from today just haven't had two seconds to get to it yet.
I guess that's just part of life though. Plus I have a tendency to freak when people just show up. The nice thing about my house is the open floor plan. The bad thing about my house is the open floor plan. I open the door and you can see all my business, kitchen, dinning room, living room. I guess most visitors don't mind. But I mind. maybe I should learn to keep things tidy.... all the time. Jeesh
I can't tell if Randel is getting better or not. I think he is but he is still bed ridden and leans to the left severely. but he has walked out to the living room a few times without the walker. He says the stiffness in his back from the injection is gone, which is good. Only time will tell. haha that's funny I just asked him how to spell something and here he comes down the hall with his walker! Guess I typed too soon.
We seem to be spending more time with our neighbor and friends that last few days which is great! But when he (the neighbor) comes over to talk to Randel and Randel is in the bed in our not terribly messy but slightly messy room. I just want to scream! I get home check the mail, have time to go to the bathroom and before I can wash my hands there goes the doorbell. Agg not that I mind at all but, my room is not the cleanest room in the house. So I am sitting there looking at our unmade bed, socks and unmentionables on the floor, Randel's stack of cups and empty popcorn bag, I just want to hide. This is all from today just haven't had two seconds to get to it yet.
I guess that's just part of life though. Plus I have a tendency to freak when people just show up. The nice thing about my house is the open floor plan. The bad thing about my house is the open floor plan. I open the door and you can see all my business, kitchen, dinning room, living room. I guess most visitors don't mind. But I mind. maybe I should learn to keep things tidy.... all the time. Jeesh
Monday, January 17, 2011
Great Day off
Today was quite a great day. I love it when I have the day off and I am PRODUCTIVE.
So many times I just waste it by doing nothing, and it's great when it's needed. But not today.
I got to sleep in for a while til' about 8. Then I got up and started cleaning out the top drawer of my dresser. I had so many socks and jewelry boxes in there, it was a pain to find anything. Now it looks much better. Then I cleaned out the top drawer of my night stand, then the top of the night stand.
I organized my food storage a little bit. I bought several bags of pasta at Staters on Saturday, couldn't pass up the 49 cents a bag! I also bought some Thrive Food Storage online today, some things that I know I like such as, the strawberries and pineapple and powered egg, and some things to try like, peaches,apricots and Broccoli Cheese Soup. I got the Mylar bags on the ones I wasn't sure about. Just in case we don't like it. Cleaned and moved almost everything out of the living room and put in the the spare room in preparation for the flooring.
Gave my mom a ride, talked to her a bit, she told me my sister in law is pregnant again. (They had a baby in July) That's good for them I guess. I'm getting better on not letting these things affect me so much. I have no control. It just seems that every time I start my period and have a month of failure(even though I'm on the pill) I find out that some one I know had success and is having a baby. One day my time will come. I'll just sit here and wait. So I made Chex Mix.
Logged on to my classes, read was is going to be expected of me over the next several weeks. This should be fun.
Today the 10 day waiting period to pick up my Christmas present (a hand gun) was up. It's a pretty cute gun. It's pink so that's all that really matters. So my walker using husband and I went and picked it up, then went and shot a few rounds at the range. The gun has a bit of a kick that I don't really like. It hurts my hands, Randel says it's because I have delicate hands. I say I'm a girl.. what do you want? Rough hands..
Went to the car wash and washed and vacuumed my car, came home just in time for my Notary appointments.
Now I sit here blogging about my day. Wondering what we are doing for dinner. Don't know what to make, Randel has suggested Taco Bell. We will probably go there.
I will have to be careful of what I blog about because I am sure people don't want to read the every day to day stuff. But today was a good day, thought I would share! :)
So many times I just waste it by doing nothing, and it's great when it's needed. But not today.
I got to sleep in for a while til' about 8. Then I got up and started cleaning out the top drawer of my dresser. I had so many socks and jewelry boxes in there, it was a pain to find anything. Now it looks much better. Then I cleaned out the top drawer of my night stand, then the top of the night stand.
I organized my food storage a little bit. I bought several bags of pasta at Staters on Saturday, couldn't pass up the 49 cents a bag! I also bought some Thrive Food Storage online today, some things that I know I like such as, the strawberries and pineapple and powered egg, and some things to try like, peaches,apricots and Broccoli Cheese Soup. I got the Mylar bags on the ones I wasn't sure about. Just in case we don't like it. Cleaned and moved almost everything out of the living room and put in the the spare room in preparation for the flooring.
Gave my mom a ride, talked to her a bit, she told me my sister in law is pregnant again. (They had a baby in July) That's good for them I guess. I'm getting better on not letting these things affect me so much. I have no control. It just seems that every time I start my period and have a month of failure(even though I'm on the pill) I find out that some one I know had success and is having a baby. One day my time will come. I'll just sit here and wait. So I made Chex Mix.
Logged on to my classes, read was is going to be expected of me over the next several weeks. This should be fun.
Today the 10 day waiting period to pick up my Christmas present (a hand gun) was up. It's a pretty cute gun. It's pink so that's all that really matters. So my walker using husband and I went and picked it up, then went and shot a few rounds at the range. The gun has a bit of a kick that I don't really like. It hurts my hands, Randel says it's because I have delicate hands. I say I'm a girl.. what do you want? Rough hands..
Went to the car wash and washed and vacuumed my car, came home just in time for my Notary appointments.
Now I sit here blogging about my day. Wondering what we are doing for dinner. Don't know what to make, Randel has suggested Taco Bell. We will probably go there.
I will have to be careful of what I blog about because I am sure people don't want to read the every day to day stuff. But today was a good day, thought I would share! :)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
First Post, first day of the rest of my life
After following others blogs, I have decided to follow suite and start my own. Although note sure what it is that I would have to say, or if any one would even follow. But let's see how it goes.
Do you ever feel that you are just waiting for your life to begin? Sometimes I do. Like the one that I am living isn't mine, I'm just going through the motions. Or living someone elses life.
I guess when I was growing up I wasn't certain on the things that I wanted in life. But as I sit here I just feel like this for sure isn't it.
So, what am I going to do to change that?
While I hate that I have to work, I am glad that I have a good job that pays well with good benefits. With that I am able to help pay for a semi-decent lifestyle. We had to file Bankruptcy on 2009 because of bad finical choices over a period of years. But even after that we still had debts that we paid back. ( Our parents). Those are paid but we got a car loan. I am determined to pay off that loan this year. So my job will definitely help.
Randel is nearly done with his three year SEEP program! Woo hoo! Hopefully once he is done with that he can start making better money. Without a degree it's a much slower process.
For those who have have spent more than five minutes with me know that I want a baby...bad.
After years of trying on our own. We went to a few doctors, and had tests done on both of us. There are issues on both sides. I am currently undergoing a birth control treatment to try to get things better. It's hard.. I want a baby and I am on birth control. But it's a six month treatment and I am on the fourth week of the fourth month. Almost there! I just pray that it is working like it's meant to.
Randel and I have a deal that if I were to get pregnant now then I work until he is done with the program. Or if I have the baby after the program I get to stay home. But even then it will be hard to go to one income. I guess we shall see.
To try to better my life and follow the council of the prophets, I have gone back to school part time. The semester starts on Tuesday and I am nervous. This isn't my first semester back but it is the most classes I am taking. It's going to be difficult. I will have to make changes on how I spend my time.
I am enjoying my church calling as 16-17 yr Sunday School teacher, they are a good bunch of kids. I am looking forward to knowing them better.
Spiritly I struggle.. some times I feel great and close to the Lord. Then there are times when I just feel so far away and alone. And I know that it is because I have moved away. There are self worth issues that I deal with, and that has a huge impact with my relationship with Jesus Christ. Right now I feel very far away. Which tells me that I need to make changes to do better.
So I guess the things that I am going to do to being my life are, finish getting out of debt, get to were we can live on one come. Continue seeing doctors to conceive a baby. Continue my education and work to feel closer to the Lord That's a good start...
This seems to be all over the place, but hopefully future blogs with have more flow.
Thanks for reading.
Do you ever feel that you are just waiting for your life to begin? Sometimes I do. Like the one that I am living isn't mine, I'm just going through the motions. Or living someone elses life.
I guess when I was growing up I wasn't certain on the things that I wanted in life. But as I sit here I just feel like this for sure isn't it.
So, what am I going to do to change that?
While I hate that I have to work, I am glad that I have a good job that pays well with good benefits. With that I am able to help pay for a semi-decent lifestyle. We had to file Bankruptcy on 2009 because of bad finical choices over a period of years. But even after that we still had debts that we paid back. ( Our parents). Those are paid but we got a car loan. I am determined to pay off that loan this year. So my job will definitely help.
Randel is nearly done with his three year SEEP program! Woo hoo! Hopefully once he is done with that he can start making better money. Without a degree it's a much slower process.
For those who have have spent more than five minutes with me know that I want a baby...bad.
After years of trying on our own. We went to a few doctors, and had tests done on both of us. There are issues on both sides. I am currently undergoing a birth control treatment to try to get things better. It's hard.. I want a baby and I am on birth control. But it's a six month treatment and I am on the fourth week of the fourth month. Almost there! I just pray that it is working like it's meant to.
Randel and I have a deal that if I were to get pregnant now then I work until he is done with the program. Or if I have the baby after the program I get to stay home. But even then it will be hard to go to one income. I guess we shall see.
To try to better my life and follow the council of the prophets, I have gone back to school part time. The semester starts on Tuesday and I am nervous. This isn't my first semester back but it is the most classes I am taking. It's going to be difficult. I will have to make changes on how I spend my time.
I am enjoying my church calling as 16-17 yr Sunday School teacher, they are a good bunch of kids. I am looking forward to knowing them better.
Spiritly I struggle.. some times I feel great and close to the Lord. Then there are times when I just feel so far away and alone. And I know that it is because I have moved away. There are self worth issues that I deal with, and that has a huge impact with my relationship with Jesus Christ. Right now I feel very far away. Which tells me that I need to make changes to do better.
So I guess the things that I am going to do to being my life are, finish getting out of debt, get to were we can live on one come. Continue seeing doctors to conceive a baby. Continue my education and work to feel closer to the Lord That's a good start...
This seems to be all over the place, but hopefully future blogs with have more flow.
Thanks for reading.
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